Carol
April 25
My mom and dad were divorced when I was 2.
Looking back on my childhood I think I could
count on one hand the number of times I remember seeing
him. Divorce was not a common thing back in the
50’s and 60’s and I remember crying a lot and asking
God “Why doesn’t my daddy love me, why doesn’t he want
me?”
When I was in Jr. High school my friend’s parents paid for me to go a Christian Camp with my friend. Since I was very shy and very quiet I felt out of place. I remember sitting by a tree and looking at the clouds and asking the same question “Why didn’t my father love me?” I opened up to a counselor and she told me I did have a Father who loved me and would never, ever leave me. She told me about Jesus and it was then I asked him into my heart.
I might have seen my father a few times during the following years. Those times were still difficult and I usually ended up in tears. During that time he married and divorced his 4th wife and had 2 more daughters. I always envied them because he was in their lives and not in mine. Life went on and I didn’t think too much abut my father. My Christian walk was a series of ups and downs.
About 14 years ago I started attending First Assembly. One Sunday a woman was speaking and told a story of her father that was very similar to mine. She said she had written to her father and told him that she forgave him. Still being the very quiet person I was I approached her with a question I needed to know the answer to. “Was it worth it?” I asked her. She said “It was for me”. I knew I had forgiven my father over the years because I believed Jesus died for me and that I had been forgiven. But I needed to do more. I wrote him and told him I forgave him and why. I knew He didn’t even think he did anything wrong that needed forgiving. I wrote, knowing that I would never get an answer, and I didn’t. But God gave me a peace about the relationship I never had before.
About 5 years ago one of my half sisters from marriage #4 contacted me and wanted to get to know me. She lived with our father, along with her 3rd husband and children. She drove 4 hours to meet me and we kept in contact. Shortly after my father got ill and had to have a kidney removed. A couple weeks after the surgery he told my sister he wanted her to bring him up to see me. It was hard to believe that this small frail old man could have hurt so many people in his life. He later developed bone cancer and was dying. I visited a few times and learned from my sister a lot about her childhood. My father was an alcoholic. Both daughters had so many problems, hurts, and addictions. Their lives were far from the perfect father/daughter relationships I had envisioned.
The last week of his life the Lord allowed me to be at his bedside in the hospital. He knew I had come but was on so much morphine he was not conscious most of the time. Not knowing, but hoping he could hear me, when we were alone I shared Jesus with him and told him it was not too late to ask God to forgive him. That he could be in heaven and I would see him again and we could get to know each other there. Toward the end, with his daughters and friends around, I heard more of his past and the life style he had lead.
When realization finally hits its overwhelming. All I could think was “Thank You Lord” “Thank you for keeping this man out of my life.” After almost 50 years, the little girl who had cried out to God “Why, why didn’t I have a father?” got her answer. “That’s why” He told me. You see I would not have found Christ when I did and I never would have become the woman I am today if my father had been in my life. I believe God let me find my father at the end of his life and had prepared me all those years to share Christ’s love with him.
After the funeral my sister was telling me of one time when our dad was really fighting treatments. He was insistent that she bring him up to see me again. When she asked why he said “because she forgives me”.
When I was in Jr. High school my friend’s parents paid for me to go a Christian Camp with my friend. Since I was very shy and very quiet I felt out of place. I remember sitting by a tree and looking at the clouds and asking the same question “Why didn’t my father love me?” I opened up to a counselor and she told me I did have a Father who loved me and would never, ever leave me. She told me about Jesus and it was then I asked him into my heart.
I might have seen my father a few times during the following years. Those times were still difficult and I usually ended up in tears. During that time he married and divorced his 4th wife and had 2 more daughters. I always envied them because he was in their lives and not in mine. Life went on and I didn’t think too much abut my father. My Christian walk was a series of ups and downs.
About 14 years ago I started attending First Assembly. One Sunday a woman was speaking and told a story of her father that was very similar to mine. She said she had written to her father and told him that she forgave him. Still being the very quiet person I was I approached her with a question I needed to know the answer to. “Was it worth it?” I asked her. She said “It was for me”. I knew I had forgiven my father over the years because I believed Jesus died for me and that I had been forgiven. But I needed to do more. I wrote him and told him I forgave him and why. I knew He didn’t even think he did anything wrong that needed forgiving. I wrote, knowing that I would never get an answer, and I didn’t. But God gave me a peace about the relationship I never had before.
About 5 years ago one of my half sisters from marriage #4 contacted me and wanted to get to know me. She lived with our father, along with her 3rd husband and children. She drove 4 hours to meet me and we kept in contact. Shortly after my father got ill and had to have a kidney removed. A couple weeks after the surgery he told my sister he wanted her to bring him up to see me. It was hard to believe that this small frail old man could have hurt so many people in his life. He later developed bone cancer and was dying. I visited a few times and learned from my sister a lot about her childhood. My father was an alcoholic. Both daughters had so many problems, hurts, and addictions. Their lives were far from the perfect father/daughter relationships I had envisioned.
The last week of his life the Lord allowed me to be at his bedside in the hospital. He knew I had come but was on so much morphine he was not conscious most of the time. Not knowing, but hoping he could hear me, when we were alone I shared Jesus with him and told him it was not too late to ask God to forgive him. That he could be in heaven and I would see him again and we could get to know each other there. Toward the end, with his daughters and friends around, I heard more of his past and the life style he had lead.
When realization finally hits its overwhelming. All I could think was “Thank You Lord” “Thank you for keeping this man out of my life.” After almost 50 years, the little girl who had cried out to God “Why, why didn’t I have a father?” got her answer. “That’s why” He told me. You see I would not have found Christ when I did and I never would have become the woman I am today if my father had been in my life. I believe God let me find my father at the end of his life and had prepared me all those years to share Christ’s love with him.
After the funeral my sister was telling me of one time when our dad was really fighting treatments. He was insistent that she bring him up to see me again. When she asked why he said “because she forgives me”.
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Megan
March 25
When my now 18 year old daughter was in junior high she
would listen to the Fish radio station when she would
get ready for school. One day, she called me at
work all excited and told me she just won two tickets
to a concert. As she was only 13, I had to go
with her. I really wasn\'t looking forward to
sitting in church for a concert. Boring! At
that time, I didn't listen to any Christian music and
wasn't going to church on anything close to a regular
basis. I thought Christian music was what they sang in
the Lutheran church I came from on Sunday's.
Well, the tickets were for a band called Kutless and Audio Adrenaline and I had absolutely no idea who they were. Upon our arrival in the church, I started to notice some young kids with spiked hair-dos filling the pews. This was getting strange and uncomfortable. When Kutless came out to play, I absolutely couldn't believe the volume of the music let alone the fact that they were playing rock music...in chuch...and the entire crowd was on its feet, jumping, singing, clapping, etc. In church! My goodness. I was expecting lightning to come strike us all down. The nerve! Then I started listening to the beat. I like rock music. I thought, "this is Christian??? Hmm, I think I kind of like this music." I would listen to rock music during my work outs in the gym and this sounded exactly like my type of music.
During the band change, I went out to the lobby and purchsed a cd by Kutless. Then came Audio Adrenaline. Even better! To my daughter's extreme embarrassment, I found myself jumping along with everyone else to the fantastic music. When the lead singer, Mark Stuart, came out into the audience and had them sing parts of the song, Big House, I hoped he wouldn't head my way since I didn't know any of the words. He didn't and the concert was excellent and I was hooked. After the show I purchased all the cds I could.
From that point on, I listened to the Fish and then started gathering my extensive music library of Christian music. I got rid of all my offensive music and now listen exclusively to Christian music. My daughter and I started attending any Christian concert that came into are area. My youngest daughter has started coming to concerts with me now and we have the best time. We have seen TobyMac, MercyMe, Jeremy Camp, Matthew West, Barlow Girl, Thousand Foot Krutch and many more.
Soon after that first concert, we started going to church again. A few years ago, we found KFA and have been coming here almost every Sunday since.
I can honestly say that Christian music changed me and saved my life! It brought me back to church, back to Jesus, and connected me with my kids in a whole new and wholesome way. Christian music has gotten me through the untimely death of my mom and has given me a new-found strength in my daily life. I love being able to share the music I am listening to in the office with others when they hear me belting out a tune! What a way to spread the Good Word! Thanks for letting me share my story.
Well, the tickets were for a band called Kutless and Audio Adrenaline and I had absolutely no idea who they were. Upon our arrival in the church, I started to notice some young kids with spiked hair-dos filling the pews. This was getting strange and uncomfortable. When Kutless came out to play, I absolutely couldn't believe the volume of the music let alone the fact that they were playing rock music...in chuch...and the entire crowd was on its feet, jumping, singing, clapping, etc. In church! My goodness. I was expecting lightning to come strike us all down. The nerve! Then I started listening to the beat. I like rock music. I thought, "this is Christian??? Hmm, I think I kind of like this music." I would listen to rock music during my work outs in the gym and this sounded exactly like my type of music.
During the band change, I went out to the lobby and purchsed a cd by Kutless. Then came Audio Adrenaline. Even better! To my daughter's extreme embarrassment, I found myself jumping along with everyone else to the fantastic music. When the lead singer, Mark Stuart, came out into the audience and had them sing parts of the song, Big House, I hoped he wouldn't head my way since I didn't know any of the words. He didn't and the concert was excellent and I was hooked. After the show I purchased all the cds I could.
From that point on, I listened to the Fish and then started gathering my extensive music library of Christian music. I got rid of all my offensive music and now listen exclusively to Christian music. My daughter and I started attending any Christian concert that came into are area. My youngest daughter has started coming to concerts with me now and we have the best time. We have seen TobyMac, MercyMe, Jeremy Camp, Matthew West, Barlow Girl, Thousand Foot Krutch and many more.
Soon after that first concert, we started going to church again. A few years ago, we found KFA and have been coming here almost every Sunday since.
I can honestly say that Christian music changed me and saved my life! It brought me back to church, back to Jesus, and connected me with my kids in a whole new and wholesome way. Christian music has gotten me through the untimely death of my mom and has given me a new-found strength in my daily life. I love being able to share the music I am listening to in the office with others when they hear me belting out a tune! What a way to spread the Good Word! Thanks for letting me share my story.
Hilary
March 10
If I had to use one word to describe our Cell Group it
would be family. In the beginning I was hesitant about
coming; I didn’t know the leaders or the students all
that well. As the year went on it became the complete
opposite. Our cell group has bonded and become so close
that I feel at home there. We have talked and learned,
opened up and shared with each other. We have grown in
Christ, but also as friends spending countless Cell
Groups on the floor laughing for minutes on end. I am
so thankful for our leader’s dedication and walk with
God; it has inspired and has helped me to grow with
them throughout the year.
Reyna
March 10